Famous writers, poets, and comedians have tried to understand women but admit they haven’t fully figured them out. Check out these funny quotes about women, written by both men and women!
“There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.”
Will Rogers
“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
Robert Heinlein
“A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.”
Nancy Reagan
“Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?”
Sigmund Freud
“I do not believe in using women in combat because females are too fierce.”
Margaret Mead
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.”
Aristotle
James Thurber
“A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man when he is in the right, will keep on talking.”
Malcolm de Chazal
“The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.”
Freya Stark
“Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.”
Gloria Steinem
“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.”
“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make men stupid.”
Dave Barry
“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.”
Joseph Conrad
“I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.”
Ogden Nash
Virginia Woolf
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.”
Charlotte Whitton
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
Chris Rock
“Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere.”
Mae West
“Woman aren’t confusing. They’re a Sudoku-Jenga puzzle surrounded by Rubik’s cubes strapped to a terrorist screaming at you in another language.”
Mike Vanatta
“Women complain about sex more often than men. Their gripes fall into two major categories: (1) Not Enough. (2) Too Much.”
Ann Landers
“Feminine intuition is a fiction and a fraud. It is nonsensical, illogical, emotional, ridiculous and practically foolproof”
Harry Haenigsen